The Best Song You’ve Never Heard: A Sex Addict’s Story

Rarely does media portray sexual addiction in a honest light. Too often, pornography is glamorized and the real-life effects of its use are minimized. Rap artist Jason Chu has created just the opposite. In his song “No Angels“, he bluntly describes a sex addict’s story. The music video is powerful, showing the partner’s shocked response to the addict’s story (as described in a previous article entitled “Disclosure 101: The Partner’s Pain When the Addict Admits“). I encourage you to read these lyrics with a open and understanding heart. These lyrics represent countless stories. Maybe it’s the story of somebody you know. Maybe it’s the story of your partner. Maybe your teenager or younger child is just beginning down this path. Maybe this is your story.

“No Angels” – Jason Chu (click here for the video)

First experiences. First loss of innocence.
It all started when I was eleven
At the mall I saw angels – but they didn’t come from heaven
From their curves to their lips, feminine perfection
To youthful eyes, they were basically naked
That night, my imagination thrived
They haunted my eyes, I felt butterflies rise
Amazed, I had never seen a woman that way
And I fantasized, what it would be like
So full of innocence, I didn’t even know
What I stepped into, setting foot upon this road
One picture turned to two, two turned into four
The next thing I knew, I was way out of control
So young, but already I’d been told
The measure of a woman is her body, not her soul
Plus the hormones in MY body were not just to help me grow
So girls replaced the toys I’d out grown.

We flew together, but I’m no angel
I’m no angel, I’m no angel
We used each other, and I’m no angel
I’m no angel – we’re not angels

A sexual addiction in its early stages
Attracted to the pics and links up on those webpages
Vivid promises of sex, but it’s not enough
You can’t buy me love, but I can sure pay for lust
I’m battling myself, and boy, I’m getting massacred
This girl on my computer will do whatever I ask of her
Once it was fun, now I can’t stop
Every time online, new tab – MAN she’s hot
No more thought, once I’m locked in
Til I stop, all I think about is her skin
For the moment, I can own her, or worship at her throne
but once it’s over and I’m sober then I’m back here on my own
The goddess that captivated me is just a tab to exit
History deleted, I’m cleaning up my messes
It makes me sick just to think about it
A couple hours later, all I’ll do is think about it

A billion dollar industry with great PR
All based around denying just how lonely we are
Silicone-pumped curves and airbrushed scars
Hide the drug use and abuse of the women they call stars
Broken women, broken by broken men
When I idolize their image, the cycle starts all again
I-look-at-my-girl like why won’t YOU **** like them
Forgetting she’s a person, not an internet icon
Now she’s the casualty of habits started casually,
Sixteen years ago, never dreaming they would master me
It’s the wool that I pulled over my eyes
Telling-myself that women are all just freaks in disguise
Librarians and wives, mothers and professors
18 and up, all just subjects, for my erection
And I’m buried alive, while chasing dreams
Of angels with no wings, that will never fly

You are not a toy, you’re a woman
And I am not a boy, I’m a man
In this cold world, we’re all broken
I can’t fly, but I can try to stand

If you resonated with these lyrics and are ready to experience freedom and healing, we at LifeSTAR and YouthSTAR provide specialized, caring help. Contact us for details on the services we offer at (559) 323-8484. Whether you get help through us or elsewhere, we wish you success as you move forward in your healing journey. There is hope.

*Also, please visit the artist’s site and let him know on Facebook if you appreciated his work.

-Written by Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LifeSTAR of the Central Valley

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