The Psychology of Porn: An Interview on Lust, Misogyny, & Sexual Addiction Recovery


Forest Benedict Interviews Andrew Bauman

Last week I had the privilege of interviewing Andrew Bauman, the author of the new book The Psychology of Porn. In our conversation we explored topics in his book including lust, objectification, misogyny, and a “pornographic style of relating.” This short, insightful video is valuable for those seeking recovery from sexual addiction. Click below to watch and please share with anyone who might benefit. Check out Andrew’s book on Amazon.

I would love to hear your thoughts on the interview and I’m sure Andrew would enjoy hearing from you as well. For more information on Andrew and to reach out to him, check out his website https://www.andrewjbauman.com.

Wishing you all hope & healing,

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, therapist at LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!
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Tune in at 5pm Today: Sex Addiction in the News with Staci Sprout, LCSW, CSAT


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I’m excited to announce the kickoff of a new resource! My friend Staci Sprout is starting her new weekly Facebook Live show called Sex Addiction in the News. To participate in this event, go to her Facebook page at 5pm PST by clicking here. Then, set a reminder for the weeks to come. Knowing Staci, this will be a great resource. See you there!

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, therapist at LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!
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Benedict Interview: Every Child at Risk of Early Exposure to Pornography


 

Hedburg Benedict

In my recent interview with Dr Allan Hedburg, he asked what type of home and what type of child were most vulnerable to pornography. My answer may surprise you. I shared what I wholeheartedly believe, that “every home and every child” is at risk. In light of this startling truth, every person who has or knows children is wise to take the topic of early pornography exposure seriously.

The valuable video below is a great starting point for anyone seeking out quality information on this daunting topic. There is much we can do to protect the younger generation from the threats of pornography. Let’s begin by educating ourselves and sharing this essential information with others.

For those seeking treatment for teenagers struggling with pornography addiction or needing personal recovery help contact us today.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

 

 

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Running On Empty No More: A Book for Transforming Relationships


ROE QUOTE LS

I just finished a wonderful book I can’t wait to tell you about called Running on Empty No More: Transform Your Relationships With Your Partner, Your Parents and Your Children, by Dr Jonice Webb.

Running on Empty No More is an excellent book for anyone seeking healing in their most important relationships. The book is a fitting follow-up to her first book Running On Empty, providing practical strategies for those wondering about next steps in their recovery from Childhood Emotional Neglect. One thing I appreciate about the book is the author’s obvious care and compassion for the reader. She invites the reader to take some difficult steps in repairing relationships while being clear about when those choices could be unhealthy. I found the book refreshing in my personal journey, especially when the concept of forgiveness was addressed. As a parent, I cannot more highly recommend the section on learning to connect with children.

Running on Empty No More has the potential to change the world, one relationship at a time. I plan to share this book with those I love, recommend it to many of my clients, and add it to our sex addiction recovery program. Whether you’re seeking tools for connecting with a partner, parent, or child, this book is for you.

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

 

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When To Talk to Your Kids About Porn: It’s Earlier Than You Think


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Every child will see pornography. After years of studying the impact of pornography on children and its widespread availability, I am convinced of this. Still, most parents optimistically hold to the “not my child” belief. But that’s not what the stats tell us. And with perpetual technological advances, the numbers will only increase. As parents, we must prepare ourselves and we must prepare our children for the moment(s) of early pornography exposure.

You may be asking yourself at what age the conversations about pornography should begin. The answer is alarming and uncomfortable: younger than you think. In the Parents & Caregivers section of her book Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr, author Kristen Jenson shares the following:

“Experts in child abuse prevention and pornography addiction recovery advise parents to begin educating kids about online dangers as soon as they have access to the internet. This includes access from mobile devices owned by friends, family members, teachers, fellow students and babysitters.” 

Do your young children have access to the internet? If so, then it’s time to start taking this topic seriously on behalf of your children….even your very young children.

My children have internet access through various devices and I began educating both of my boys about the dangers of pornography at young ages (girls are also at risk). I read the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures to my oldest son when he was around 6 years old. He memorized the CAN DO plan that prepares children for what to do when they see pornography. Then, when Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr came out, I read it to my 3 year old, teaching him the Turn, Run, & Tell plan. As a parent who is acutely aware of the impact of pornography on children, I cannot tell you how grateful I am so have these books as resources for my children. While I cannot fully prevent my kids from exposure to pornography, I can prepare them to know what to do when it happens, which is vitally important.

Many parents might cringe at the idea of introducing the topic of pornography to their children. They might worry that such conversations could ruin their children’s innocence but this simply is not true. What will spoil their innocence is exposure to pornography that they are not prepared for. As Jenson shares, “parents who arm their young children against the dangers of pornography are not destroying their children’s innocence: They’re protecting it!”

Certainly, talking about pornography with our children in the wrong way would harm them. That is one reason why I love the Good Pictures Bad Pictures books. They present this difficult topic in an age-appropriate way. They do not give children ideas, they give them tools, helping them see pornography as a poison to their brains.

If you are a parent, I recommend the following books preparing to talk with children about pornography (click here for additional resources):

I admit, even thinking about these kinds of conversations can be difficult for parents. Regardless of how uncomfortable this is for us, I believe we owe our children the best shot at responding wisely to early exposure to pornography. There are many challenges our children will experience growing up in this day and age. Let’s prepare them for one of them.

 

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!
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How to Know if a Sex Addict is Really in Recovery (A Podcast Interview)


He Says He's In Recovery, But is it True?
Partners of sex addicts are on heart-breaking and hard journey. One of the many challenges they face is seeking emotional safety within their relationship, which is a difficult skill to master. In many cases, an addict will make promises of change (certainly, they usually want to change). But, based on their history of misusing  words, they often create a situation where words mean nothing and action with the right attitude means everything.
In my recent interview with Betrayal Trauma Recovery, I talked about what constitutes good recovery for an addict and what partners can look for as signs of progress. If you’re a partner of a sex or pornography addict, I encourage you to listen to this podcast (here) and seek the help you deserve. We at LifeSTAR of the Central Valley have served partners for many years and we are here to serve you.
Wishing all partners strength, hope, and healing.
*** For additional partner resources click here
Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!

 

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Fighting Lust With Love: How to Honor, Not Objectify (VLOG)


Fighting Lust with love

Lust is my drug of choice. This has been true for me since adolescence. It helped me cope with life’s challenges but in the end brought many more. Now that I’m in recovery, fighting lust is a daily ideal. Some days are better than others, but I continue to aim for this attainable achievement.

A few days ago I took on a personal challenge, practicing a technique that boosted my ability to fight lust through actively honoring others. I told this story and explained the technique in more detail in my newest VLOG called “Fighting Lust with Love: How to Honor, Not Objectify.”  Click here to watch it and learn more about this powerful tool.

These efforts will all be worth it. As I wrote in my book, “For those ready for recovery, it is time to abandon life under the influence of lust. It is time to lay down our cheap coping mechanisms, taking up strategies that strengthen us. As we leave lust behind, we begin to see ahead the hopeful makings of a new life. We begin to taste the unrivaled satisfaction of life after lust” (Benedict, 2017).

Thank you for reading, watching, and joining me in this life-changing adventure.

 

Forest Benedict, LMFT, SATP, Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and author of Life After Lust. If you benefited from this article, please “follow” us on this blog and on Twitter, “like” us on Facebook, and SHARE this article and blog with others. Thank you!
Posted in Addiction, Female Sexual Addiction, Recovery, Sexual Addiction | Tagged , , | Leave a comment