Disclosure 101: The Partner’s Pain when the Addict Admits (Powerful video)

“No Angels” by Jason Chu

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Rarely, if ever, have I seen a video like this that portrays both the sexual addict’s and the partner’s experience at the moment of disclosure. This powerful video by Jason Chu provides a honest depiction of his journey into sex addiction, while at the same time showing his partner’s pain as she reacts to this difficult news (To read an insightful interview with the artist, click here).  Please note: These lyrics may be difficult/triggering for some readers and the F-word is used once as well, so reader discretion is advised.

Disclosure 101

While this video is not an exact representation of disclosure, it provides a great springboard into a discussion about the disclosure process. Disclosure is “a structured confession wherein the addict takes full responsibility for everything that he or she has done in the way of acting out sexually” (Katehakis, 2013). Disclosure is an important part of the recovery process. Our friend’s at LifeSTAR St George share that, “Regardless if the behavior is pornography, sexual acting out with another person, or anything else, it’s critical that the injured partner know the reality of the situation.  Failure to disclose is essentially stealing someone else’s reality from them.”

Knowing that the telling of an addict’s story is an essential, yet sensitive experience, we recommend disclosure happen only under the guidance of a trained professional. Otherwise, an unsupported and unsupervised disclosure can cause more damage than good for everyone involved. We at LifeSTAR have a Disclosure Workbook that provides structure to this fragile yet powerful process. The expected end result of disclosure is peace of mind and freedom for both partners.

As professionals who specialize in the treatment of sexual addiction and partner trauma, we can attest to the reality of the relational devastation that often occurs when this type of addiction is discovered. If you find yourself on either side of the above video’s screen, we encourage you to seek help. Our program is designed to lead both addicts and partners through the healing process.

*We highly recommend our own “Partner Resources” page for additional articles on partners.

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-Written by Forest Benedict, MA, SATP-C, LifeSTAR of the Central Valley