Making the decision of whether or not to stay in a marriage is a painful one for
partners of sexual addicts. Friends and family may have strong feelings and quick
advice but this decision is never simple and cannot be made lightly. The decision
impacts every aspect of life; finances, children and family, home, work and social
networks. Even when there has been no physical or emotional contact with someone
else, studies show that over 80 percent of women viscerally experience their
spouse’s pornography viewing as infidelity (Skinner). Visceral relates to deep
inward feelings rather than to a cognitive-thought process. Making this decision
is and should be an individual process. We encourage you to seek counseling from
a competent therapist who specializes in sexual addiction before making a final
decision.
Whether you choose to stay or go it is vitally important that you work on your
own recovery from relational trauma. The following letter is beautifully written
by a spouse of a sexual addict. She talks about her own trauma work, the need to
surround oneself with supportive people, what the process has been like for her
and where she draws the line. Perhaps it will help you on your path to peace and
healing.
Click here to read the article by a partner of a sex addict entitled “On Staying”
Shared by Stacey B. Thacker, LMFT Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central
Source: Skinner K., Steuer, G., Strengthening Recovery through Strengthening Marriage, Healing from Pornography Addiction (CDs)
For more great articles for partners of sex addicts, check out the Partner Resources section of our blog.
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