Healing Doesn’t Happen on the Island of Isolation


Are you attempting to recover from an addiction alone? Do your internal voices tell you that trusting others is pointless, leading to a lifetime of suffering in silence? Maybe you’ve lived this lie for years, vowing repeatedly that next time you will “try harder”, only to find your strength fizzle as you return again to addictive “comforts”. The reality is that healing doesn’t happen in isolation. Some wounds are deep and out of our own reach. We need others to bandage us. Receiving compassionate care in times of pain is a necessary part of the recovery journey.

The “White Book” of Sexaholics Anonymous puts it this way:

“Some of us look back on our transition to sobriety as a time when we were in a state of shock, in which our whole system had to slowly recover from the trauma of a lifetime of self-inflicted injury. Sobriety involves a new and unfamiliar way of life, like driving in a foreign country without knowing the language or customs. Only this is a whole new inner terrain. Without the drug, we begin to feel what’s really going on inside. It takes time to adjust to all this, and the support of others is vital” (p 31).

Many have heard this message, yet still resist it. It takes time to trust. This process is not learned overnight. For more information on “how to” reach out to others, check out our previous article called “Connection Calls”. May these lyrics and the accompanying video remind you that you are not alone in your triggers, trauma, and emotional turmoil. There is true comfort that is not self-destructive, for those willing to walk out of the shadows.

“No Man Is An Island” by Tenth Avenue North

I won’t run, I will stay
I’m not leaving you
I know there’s friction here
The struggle makes us new

I wish you never thought you had to go
Wish you never thought you had to leave
Together we can lift each other up
We can build a shelter for the weak

I see fear in your eyes
There’s no safety here
Oh, my friend, let me in
I will share your tears

No man is an island, we can be found
No man is an island, let your guard down
Please don’t try to fight me, I am for you
We’re not meant to live this life alone

Through trouble, rain, or fire
Let’s reach out to something higher
Ain’t no life outside each other
We are not alone
Through trouble, rain, or fire
Let’s reach out to something higher
Eyes open to one another
We are not alone

No man is alone
Why you try to fight me
We don’t have to do it alone

We understand that many reading this article may already have a solid support system. For those who do not, we are here to provide a supportive role in the recovery journey. For information about our outpatient treatment program for individuals impacted by sexual addiction and their partners, contact us at (559) 323-8484.

-By Forest Benedict, MA, SATP, MFT Intern, LifeSTAR of the Central Valley

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About fbenedict

Forest Benedict is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sexual Addiction Treatment Provider (SATP). Forest loves the work he does as the Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and the Program Manager/Teacher in the SATP program at Mid-America Nazarene University. He writes numerous articles on the LifeSTAR of the Central Valley blog (https://lifestarcentralvalley.wordpress.com/) and also on his personal blog (http://forestbenedict.com/). He created the Life After Lust VLOG on Youtube, sharing insights about recovery from sexual addiction. Forest also writes and speaks publicly about protecting children from pornography.
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9 Responses to Healing Doesn’t Happen on the Island of Isolation

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