As a seasoned marriage counselor, I often get approached for tips to strengthen marriage. I believe a significant reason marriages suffer is often due to neglect and an overall lack of connection. In some marriages, the pattern of disconnection is extreme or the problems are so complex that counseling is often needed to navigate through these types of marriage challenges. One of my favorite experiences as a counselor is seeing a couple who is ready to terminate counseling. I observe in these couples laughing, looking into one another’s eyes, and reflecting on the good times of the past and looking forward with hope toward the future. A safe, loving and emotionally connected marriage is worth the work it takes to achieve. I often ask couples to share their favorite idea from their couples counseling. I consistently get feedback that the marriage enrichment practice I call “The 2 Minute Miracle” is a tip that overtime becomes a cherished ritual for couples. I named this marriage ritual the 2 Minute Miracle because of its miraculous impact on the marriage relationship.
The 2 Minute Miracle is being conscious and deliberate about connecting with your spouse in your comings and goings. For sake of simplicity, I will assume the husband leaves the home first. If the wife leaves, the same advice applies to her. The husband manages his morning so that he has time to initiate the 2 minute miracle by turning to his wife and hugging her before leaving the home. During this time, it is okay to briefly mention some personal or family business, but most importantly, I strongly encourage you express your love and appreciation to your wife and to look her in the eyes and kiss her (Hint: a 5-10 second kiss is more meaningful and connecting than a 2 second kiss). Whenever you reunite from your day’s activities, the 2 minute miracle is repeated (Hint: when the wife notices her husband is home and she stops what she is doing and shows excitement to greet her mate with a hug and a kiss makes the evening 2 Minute Miracle more effective).
Your busy schedule as well as some of the complexities of family life means that the 2 Minute Miracle will not happen as described above every day. This comings and goings ritual is something that will likely become more consistent over time. I love the phrase, “everyone needs a soft place to fall.” Life is hard and some days the 2 Minute Miracle becomes just what I needed; comfort and support from my wife. I also hope to be a support to her on her tough days. Some days, the 2 Minute Miracle is rejoicing together about an accomplishment or laughing about a funny thing that happened that day. I encourage you to practice the 2 Minute Miracle to see what it can do for your marriage. I can attest that in my marriage it has brought a deeper connection and is something we both look forward to doing. I can also report that many other couples have reported similar results. I believe if you practice this ritual you will come to appreciate it for yourself and your marriage. Give it a try and see what miracles come for you!