LifeSTAR of the Central Valley Recovery Testimony – Part 1

I Could No Longer Do This Alone

“I struggled with sexual addiction for as long as I can remember. Late childhood to early teens was marked as a happy time, but scattered throughout were seeds of shame and fear. By late teens I battled with habitual masturbation. I finally felt I had overcome it, only to find a deeper and darker world of secrets in internet pornography. Throughout my marriage it has been an up and down battle with limited periods of success. I spent some time in individual therapy, couples therapy, 12-step groups, and many visits to religious leaders, but it was never enough. Deep in my heart I knew that overcoming this addiction would require a change that was deeper and more comprehensive than ever before; I needed it to be permanent. My desires always felt so sincere and so deep, but why didn’t my actions reflect the deepest desire of my heart: to forever rid myself of the addiction?

I began to have a recurring thought that professional help was the only thing left to try. I always told myself if it lasted “this long” I would do anything and everything to rid myself of it. Still, the fear of bearing my soul to another stranger and the anticipated pain of therapy needed to be overcome. I needed a desire to change that far outweighed my fear of it.”



About fbenedict

Forest Benedict is the author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. He is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified Sexual Addiction Treatment Provider (SATP). Forest loves the work he does as the Clinical Director of LifeSTAR of the Central Valley and the Program Manager/Teacher in the SATP program at Mid-America Nazarene University. He writes numerous articles on the LifeSTAR of the Central Valley blog ( and also on his personal blog ( He created the Life After Lust VLOG on Youtube, sharing insights about recovery from sexual addiction. Forest also writes and speaks publicly about protecting children from pornography.
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