LifeSTAR of the Central Valley Recovery Testimony – Part 1

I Could No Longer Do This Alone

“I struggled with sexual addiction for as long as I can remember. Late childhood to early teens was marked as a happy time, but scattered throughout were seeds of shame and fear. By late teens I battled with habitual masturbation. I finally felt I had overcome it, only to find a deeper and darker world of secrets in internet pornography. Throughout my marriage it has been an up and down battle with limited periods of success. I spent some time in individual therapy, couples therapy, 12-step groups, and many visits to religious leaders, but it was never enough. Deep in my heart I knew that overcoming this addiction would require a change that was deeper and more comprehensive than ever before; I needed it to be permanent. My desires always felt so sincere and so deep, but why didn’t my actions reflect the deepest desire of my heart: to forever rid myself of the addiction?

I began to have a recurring thought that professional help was the only thing left to try. I always told myself if it lasted “this long” I would do anything and everything to rid myself of it. Still, the fear of bearing my soul to another stranger and the anticipated pain of therapy needed to be overcome. I needed a desire to change that far outweighed my fear of it.”


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