Here is another excerpt from our new workbook Healing through Connection….
“As you consider the implications of all you have learned in this workbook, think about your attitude toward applying it. The addictive mind is extremely skilled at blaming people and circumstances for problems in life. As you think about the concept of connection, it may be easy to blame everyone for not connecting with you. You may maintain the mindset that your parents, your spouse, your Higher Power, and others are at fault for your pain, your addiction, and ultimately your disconnection with all of them. You may blame your moods or even your addiction for the choices you make. However it surfaces, this victim mindset is often active & thriving at the start of recovery. In a very real sense, you are in recovery from your victim mentality.
Recovery is all about taking responsibility for your life, mindset, distance or closeness with others, and ultimately your success in this battle. Again, beware of the victim perspective that convinces you that responsibility equals blame, triggering your sense of depravity and shame. Taking responsibility does not mean taking the blame. On the contrary, it is all about stepping up and accepting the challenge of improving your life. It is an active stance toward recovery. It means believing you have choices, right now. Taking responsibility on a daily basis will make all the difference as your recovery moves forward. If you go through the program maintaining a passive stance (e.g. just going to meetings and “white knuckling” your way through sobriety), it will not be enough. Taking a daily, intentional, active stance; saying “I will do whatever it takes today to connect with myself and others and to maintain my recovery”, will change everything for you. The ball is in your court.”
By Forest Benedict, MA, SATP, MFT Intern